How I handled my PTSD (child abuse) all by myself

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Hi Everyone,

This article by EFT do-it-yourselfer Lisa Rogers should be passed around the planet. It is a major testimony to persistence and points to the limitless possibilities within EFT.

Hugs, Gary

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By Lisa Rogers, EFT-CC

Dear Gary:

My name is Lisa Rogers and I am not a therapist.  I have no training in the mental health field and, in fact I barely graduated from high school.  I am just an ordinary person who had an extraordinary problem.  I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

From age 12, I visited dozens of therapists trying to get help for my depression and anxiety.  Years of counseling and prescribed drugs left me frustrated and no closer to relief.  My frustration led me to use street drugs and alcohol, in an effort to medicate myself.

When I found the Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) I had no idea then how much it would change my life.  It seemed too good to be true.  Nothing else had worked and since this was something I could do on my own, I decided to give it a try.  What did I have to lose?  I tapped every day.  My ritual was that I would tap every time I went to the bathroom.  It was private and I knew I'd be there a few times day!

Although there were many major issues I needed to address, I think it would be helpful to focus on one at a time.  I guess the best place to start is the beginning, with child sexual abuse.

When I was a child, I was severely abused - emotionally, physically and sexually - by a family member. The sexual abuse began when I was 8 and continued for 4 years on a regular basis.  When I told my mother, she didn't believe me.  This left me with a lasting feeling of shame and guilt that somehow I had done something to cause this.  My family treated me like a traitor.  I felt like a freak. I ran away from home at 12 and lived on the streets for years.  I was an IV drug user by 14 and pregnant with my first child at 15.

As the years went by my life was a wreck. I felt alone and misunderstood.  I thought I was a bad person.  I hated myself and resented the world.

I was suicidal and desperate for help when I found EFT.  I ordered the free EFT Manual and learned the process.  I was afraid to dig too deep, so at first I tapped on my physical feelings only.

Even though I feel like a deer in the headlights…

Even though my heart is pounding out of my chest...

Even though I feel like someone just jumped out and scared me…

Even though I can't concentrate...

Even though the noise hurts me...

Even though the light hurts me...

Even though I'm so nervous for no reason…

Even though I'm terrified and I'm only watching TV...

Even though I keep having these night terrors…

After about a month of tapping every day on my outward symptoms, I could see that EFT really worked.  I then felt confident and safe enough to start tapping on specific painful negative emotions.

Even though I hate myself...

Even though I'm trash...

Even though I'm worth nothing...

Even though I deserved it...

Even though I didn't deserve it...

Even though no child ever deserves it...

Even though my parents didn't love me…

Even though my parents didn't protect me...

Even though I should have never told…

Even though I should have told earlier but I was too scared…

Even though I told and it ruined my family and my life...

Even though I can’t forget…

Even though these memories won’t go away…

Even though it's been years and it still hurts so much...

Even though I feel shame and guilt...

Even though I feel different…

Even though a part of me still thinks it's my fault...

Even though I know it wasn't my fault...

Even though my mom didn't believe me...

Even though everyone thought I was a liar...

Even though it made me hate my body...

Even though child services knew and they didn't protect me…

Even though my mother knew and still won't admit it…

Even though I'll never be normal...

I just kept tapping on whatever came into my head.  I would write things down to tap on if I couldn't tap right then.  I was determined.  I tapped for another 6 months on a regular basis.  I always checked my progress with the 1-10 scale.

I have to note that for the first few months I never tapped on specific abuse memories because they were too painful.  I didn't want to relive them so I simply tapped on my feelings surrounding the abuse as a whole.  Once I got rid of the guilt and shame I felt for so long, it was easier to address specific memories because I knew logically that it wasn't my fault.  I have since learned to use The Tearless Trauma Technique where you can imagine thinking about the problem without actually thinking about it.  This is a great tool that I use often.

Within a year of finding EFT, my life completely changed.  For over 5 years now I have been clean from drugs and alcohol and have not had a single panic attack.  I now love my life and myself.  EFT gave me the freedom to be a valuable and productive human being.   My personal success with EFT inspired me to help others.  I am now an EFT practitioner, helping people to overcome their issues with the Emotional Freedom Techniques.

Lisa Rogers

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