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"I Must Do Things Right"

"As you proceed through the Immerse-ucation process, you will likely collapse much of it and gain increasing freedom."


Velislava, one of our OEFT Course Members, deals with a lifetime conditioned pattern that she "must do things right." This, of course, is quite limiting and, with The Unseen Therapist, can be resolved. Below is part of our correspondence on this issue that you might find helpful. My comments are within her letter in red.

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Thanks, Gary

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I checked again with "I must do things right" and I'm not sure what I feel. I guess I need to put it against a real-life situation. The problem is, it's so automatic, it's like breathing air. And I have to be very alert to recognize the patterns and the self-talk around it. There is likely a LOT of conditioning around this. However, you ARE recognizing the patterns and that is a good start. As you proceed through the Immerse-ucation process, you will likely collapse much of it and gain increasing freedom.


But I remembered one more event with my father, again related to rules. And then I realized something important. In my previous experience with EFT tapping, working on my mom-related events, I reached a point, where I have zero or very low (1-2) intensity. My attitude towards her changed dramatically, I was able to understand her, my annoyance about everything she has been saying and doing, disappeared. Even I called her on the phone once just to say "I love you, mom" (which I never did before) Good. Relief like this can also happen with “I must do things right.” My father, though, I still have uncleared issues around him, although I've worked on all events I remembered. Part of me doesn't want to forgive him. It feels like I have the right to be mad at him and to keep my feeling as a proof he failed big time in fathering (from my perspective, and his, too!). And that hurt me :) This is a common ego-response and is one of our biggest challenges. Logically we know that holding these resentments does not solve anything. However, our ego wants to hold on to them. Freedom comes from resolving them. And, yes, you should go in that direction. Seeing beyond our resentments creates great freedom. It can, perhaps, bring new perspective even to your romantic relationship.

So maybe I should go in that direction. Yay, a clue! :) Cheers!

Velislava

 

Reminder: While the content in this Near-Free Advanced Online Training is complete and, with proper practice, can lead you to mastery, not everyone is an accomplished self-help student. Thus, for some students, our LIVE CLASSES can substantially ease the way. See our TRAINING OPTIONS.

 




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